My Kids Love Our Nightly 3-Minute Reset (and It Eliminates Dinnertime Meltdowns!)

The witching hour in my house starts every weekday at 6:15 p.m. I’m returning home from work (usually that means migrating from the third to the first floor), our nanny is heading out the door, and my three-year-old and his 18-month-old sister are hungry, tired and, like most toddlers, wary of transitions. It’s prime time for meltdowns, right when I need to prep dinner. 

For months, I dreaded this early-evening window. I’d try to preempt my son’s mini-tantrums by distracting him with small snacks and little activities, or I’d run interference on sibling squabbles by pleading, bribing and, yes, yelling, to get these two adorable but extremely active and vocal children to just. Chill. Out. At least until the next distraction — dinner — was ready.

But a few months ago, to drown out the quibbling, I hit play on our Sonos speaker. On blast. The two of them, startled, stopped mid-scream, wide-eyed, and looked at me. I started dancing and they broke out into laughter. I can’t remember what song it was — either Fat Joe and Ashanti’s “What’s Luv?” (yes, I’m dating myself), or a toddler-approved hit, “Domingo the Flamingo” by Laura Doherty (I strongly urge you to listen if you’re unfamiliar). My moves were less than stellar, and I’m pretty sure I used a silicone spatula as a microphone, but the kids didn’t care and immediately followed suit, flailing their arms and shaking their heads. Witching hour spell: broken. 

So began our nightly three-minute reset. I witnessed an immediate change; it was like hitting “restart” on the entire early evening. My three-year-old loves music of all kinds but is partial to the banjo; my daughter, to my extreme pride, loves early-aughts R&B and “Shake Your Booty” by KC & The Sunshine Band. But I’ve noticed that any music, as long as it’s upbeat and danceworthy, seems to work to change their moods from hangry to happy. My three-year-old snaps out of an impending tantrum, and my 18-month-old’s attention shifts from her nightly habit of tossing the spice rack’s contents across the kitchen. They follow my lead, start to shimmy, and often are too busy laughing at each other’s moves to wreak havoc. While they’re occupied, I dance my way over to the stovetop to start dinner. 

I was curious as to why music has been magic for us, so I reached out to Eleanor D. Brown, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist who directs a lab that focuses on how music and the arts help children to thrive. Is it possible that music, dance, or both are helping lift their moods so quickly? “Yes! Music and dance can have immediate effects on children’s mood,” she shares, noting that her research “found that when children engage in music and dance activities, their emotions often change to show greater interest, happiness, and pride. And, under certain circumstances, music and dance activities can quickly decrease levels of stress hormones like cortisol.” Other benefits improve with time. Some research even suggests that repeated exposure can help kids develop emotion- and behavior-regulating skills. 

Don’t overthink it. Start with one of your own favorite dance songs, and see what your kids respond to. I’ve turned our favorites into a playlist that we come back to, and have used it as a soundtrack for parties and playtime.  

Try music for other transitions. “A lullaby can help with settling for naptime or bedtime, and having a three-minute dance party can be a way for the whole family to reconnect as a parent gets home from work,” says Dr. Brown. Just be sure to pick the right tune: “Whereas soothing music aids relaxation, a fast-paced song with vigorous movements may help to energize a kid who needs to get out of an afternoon slump.” 

Turn tedium into cheer. Music can help make even tedious daily tasks fun. You can get creative here: “When brushing my toddler’s teeth, I might use the tune of ‘Row, Row, Row Your Boat,’ and sing, ‘Brush, brush, brush your teeth, each and every one! In the morning and at night, before the day is done,’” shares Dr. Brown. 

Be consistent. I’ve noticed that my kids now expect our nightly dance party — if I don’t turn it up, my son will quickly remind me. Committing is key for reaping the many rewards, too. “The more music is used consistently, and incorporated into daily routines, the more children are likely to benefit,” says Dr. Brown. I can’t think of a better reason than that to turn up the music and, in the immortal words of K.C., “shake your booty.”

Find practical ways to tweak your habits and make every day a little easier and joy-filled with Routines, Simplified! This content was presented by a sponsor; it was created independently by our editorial team.